Merry Christmas

In the age of technology and busy lives we are opting for a new way to share Christmas wishes with all of you! No matter if you live near or far we would love to share with you all what is going on and what has happened with the Tostado family in 2013! It has been full of so many wonderful and abundant blessings and without a doubt the top of the list is the expectant arrival of our baby girl in April this coming year. Eddie is staying busy going on this 9th year with our local school district as a job developer and is loving getting back out on the basketball court coaching 4th grade CYO basketball. Shannon is embracing motherhood and has stepped in to a leadership position as the coordinator of her local MOPs group (Mother's of Preschoolers) which led to an amazing opportunity to attend their national conference along with her Mom this past October in Kansas City, MO. Isaac is busy being a toddler! His verbal skills are quite impressive. He loves basketball (to his Daddy's delight), anything on wheels, and sharing his tender heart with anyone that will listen. He is a constant reminder of how much God loves us!

Here are a few of the many wonderful highlights of our year that we wanted to share with you all ...

February - Isaac's first time to the snow 

Tati Kara visited in July -- so it called for a beach day! 

Dad (Papa) turned 60 in August! Family fun at his luau 

 Isaac loves to swim especially with his cousins! 

Isaac turned 2!! 

Fall trip to Apple Hill calls for some horseback riding

Due with baby #2

So...I guess what they say is true. After your first child is born you can slack on the date tracking, milestone posting, and overall coverage of what is going on in your pregnancy. With Isaac my first born my blog was updated monthly and sometimes even weekly with what was going on in my pregnancy. It sure does not mean that baby #2 is loved or cherished any less, it just is the reality that once your enter parenthood you life you knew is gone and you are never the same. I do want to challenge my self to blog about this pregnancy more, but I will not make any promises.

 Today I find myself between week 20 and  21 of my pregnancy. And I must say this halfway point came much quicker than the first pregnancy. Having a toddler around really speeds things up when it comes to counting weeks in a pregnancy. However, in taking the time to write out this blog I am now reflecting on all that has happened in the last 5 months of the pregnancy and it really hasn't been that short; and it was certainly no walk in the park especially during my first trimester.

The First Trimester: I think I can sum of the first trimester in two words: shocking and weary

Positive Test on August 6, 2014 

Shocking: Unlike conception with Isaac where I was counting my ovulation days, temp, etc etc.. Eddie and I knew that we wanted to have another baby so we thought it may be similar to how it was with Isaac and it could take a few month or more to conceive. Well, we where wrong. I got a shockingly exciting birthday surprise and found out that I was pregnant! It was in no way a bad shock it was just shocking that it was so quick. Once again proving that God's timing is always perfect.



Weary: I compare this pregnancy so much to my first not because I thought that they would be the same but more so because it is what I have used as my gauge on pregnancy. I mean going through such a physically and emotionally altering experience you do somewhat feel like you may know possibly what to expect. And like my pregnancy with Isaac I was low energy but it was more intense and the nausea was without a doubt more intense and way more than what I could of expected. It was if I was sea sick in the head with my body aching. That is why I describe the first trimester as weary. I was constantly wanting to just crawl up in a ball and do nothing. And with a busy toddler running around that didn't always work. But I must admit that the Lord has blessed me with a caring and compassionate little guy that would always look me right in the eye, turn his little head to the side while placing his hand on me and say. "Momma, are you okay!?". Each time it would just melt my heart to pieces.

The Second Trimester: @ 21 weeks and counting -- We're having a GIRL!!, 

In this trimester we found out that we are expecting a little girl, I had thought for sure that it was going to be another boy but I was wrong! Just like I was with when I predicted that Isaac would be a girl. A part of me really doesn't and didn't care if had either gender as long as the baby is healthy.But...being a female a part of me did want to even things up in our household. So, I am very excited to know that we will have a little princess to spoil.

Baby Girl Due April 16, 2014

This trimester could be dubbed the "honey moon" of my pregnancy because after the tiredness and nausea wore off around week 15 or so, I have been feeling much like more normal self. Now at 21 weeks it sounds crazy to say normal because so much or pregnancy is not what most would refer to as normal yet it has been exactly that. I have my energy back, which not only helps the day to day stuff it also helps with being present and interacting with Isaac. I really was missing that in the earlier weeks. So, right now while I'm not waddling, or aching from different pregnancy prone issues I am taking it all in.


Pregnancy thoughts....

20 weeks and counting....

I am looking forward to the great health and everything that is currently going on. I am cherishing this time that we have a family of 3 while anxiously awaiting the arrival of our baby girl. With Christmas right around the corner it is making me see that before I know it she will be in my arms.

Embracing my Story

A couple of weeks ago I did something I thought that I would never do. I shared my story with my MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) group. Not the highlight real that makes me look 'good' or even just the edited version. I shared the deep, real, and ugly truths of my story. I knew that when I was called to lead in the MOPS ministry that these where not my plans but God's. It is His joy that he knows these plans and we don't, but it was in complete faith that I stepped into the coordinator position for MOPS. In my small world-like views I could not only see an answer as to why God had called me but I truly did not feel worthy or good enough to lead other women, let alone our large MOPS group. It wasn't until I attended MomCon (MOPS convention) this past month that God revealed and answered my prayers as to why he called me to be the coordinator.  I thought I needed be in a better or more "having it all together" place in life to become a leader. He didn't call me because I was where I would deemed to be worthy. He called me because I am broken, I am a sinner, and I am not perfect; but I am worthy of His loves and grace and he has great plans that are better than any plans I could ever make.

Here is my story.....One of the most absolute blessings in my life is that God gave me parents that loved Him and not only brought my siblings and I up in the church. But they also continually (including to this day) have modeled a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior. I excepted Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was 9 years old. Growing up there was several years in my life that I did not view my parents as a blessing at all. It was around my sophomore year in high school that I began to struggle with what I can now identify as depression. It wasn't because I didn't have friends in fact I was one of the "popular" kids and had plenty of friends around. It wasn't because I was unloved at home, or because I even had a hard life. It was because I was lonely and desperately searching for something to make me feel whole. It was towards the end of my sophomore year that I discovered what I thought I was looking for and something that made me "feel" complete: the party scene. I started to party drinking, smoking cigarettes, and stumbled in to using pot and ecstasy. When I was partying I was numb. Numb to life, to hurt, and to feeling empty so I thought. I felt like I found people and things that I could relate to and that my parents where idiots that didn't know anything. This lifestyle quickly sent my home life, academics, and sports into a complete tailspin. I was arguing with my parents lying, stealing their money, and cars. I got kicked off the soccer and swim team was flunking out of school and eventual expelled out of school at the beginning of my senior year. However, in the midst of all of this God and His love that never failed and He covered me. My parents both knew that I could not continue like this and it was with their tough love and financial resources that they placed me in a boarding school for troubled teens in Westminster, Colorado called Shelterwood. Like any rebellious, ungrateful, and completely selfish teenager I did not see any blessings in this. I was furious with my parents and didn't talk to them the first 3 months of my stay, I resented them for 'butting in' and taking me away from my friends who I deemed as so important. Yet, it was during this time (7months) that I most importantly go clean and sober and began to get my academics back on track.

I then came back to California, against the wishes of my parents who wanted me to stay and finish the program. I was 18, and even though I was clean and sober I felt that I still knew what was best for my life. When I came back to CA, my parents didn't allow me to live with them so I moved in with a friend and her family. I finished school and got my high school diploma things where on the mend on the outside, but inside I still was lonely and felt the hole in my soul. It didn't take long for me to fall back into the party scene. Except this time I feel so much deeper than I could have ever imagined myself to go. I became addicted methamphetamine. Meth is a scary, violent, and evil drug. It takes the person that you where and kills them and replaces them with the ugliest person you can think of. I was out of control completely everything that I did revolved around getting high. Yet, still even in the dark there was light, the light of God"s love shining on me through my parents. My parents although setting strict tough love rules to protect them and my other sisters, always showed me unconditional love and covered me in prayer. They never stopped praying....I had gotten arrested, charged with possession of a controlled substance, and was facing jail  time (2yrs). Again, God came to my rescue. The judge gave me a second chance and placed me on community service and probation. I didn't take it at the time as God or my parents and other prayer warriors calling out to our King on my behalf. I chalked it up to, luck. I knew that I could not continue to use but I didn't know how to stop. It was one day I was feeling so very drained and tired after a week long bender that I went to sleep. That is it, I went to sleep don't remember how long I slept but I think it was a couple days but when I woke up I knew that I never wanted to pick up that pipe ever again! Again, this was God pulling me from the depths and saving me. I don't know the exact statistics but I know that meth users rarely escape the addiction. But I bet the odds with God and he healed me from this evil drug that had me in bondage.

One would think OK surely after all of this I had hit my rock bottom. I was clean from meth but still liked to party I had just turned 21, and I would justify it as I'm not a druggie anymore I just like to drink and party. My selfishness and love for self-indulgence, led me down other path of filling my emptiness through drinking and relationships with men. I continued in this party lifestyle for 6 more years. I didn't consider myself to have a drinking problem because I had a job, I paid rent, I was responsible, but what I didn't see was the dangers of binge drinking. I was married at 28 to my husband Eddie. Like many newly weds we argued and it was taking time for us to adjust into marriage. But, something that I was not willing to let go of at the time was my binge drinking. It was within 8 month into our marriage after a really bad drinking night that Eddie has reached what he was calling the end. He loved me but couldn't and didn't see me as the wife that he had thought he had married. This was my rock bottom.....here I had thought that I would shove all the brokenness and disappointment of my past away and now I was an adult and married and would live happily ever after and it would all just work out. Eddie was talking divorce and I was devastated. I found myself,  on my knees in my room weeping, and sobbing uncontrollably. But, in the moment of my rock bottom I wasn't alone. I felt something that I hadn't felt in years and it was God letting me know that he was there. Kneeling  I began to cry out to Him begging him to fix me, to fix my marriage, letting him know what He already knew but in confession of my sins and of how wrong I was for departing from Him. It was there in my room that I rededicated my life to Him. Again, God never let go and His love never failed. My amazing Mom saw me in this brokenness and as always we there to pray with me, love on me, and give me Godly advice. She sent me a link to Fireproof your Marriage. Even with this huge transformation in my heart, Eddie was not there. He was sleeping in the other room, still talking divorce and just so unsure of what the future held for us. In Fireproofing your Marriage it is a 40 day challenge that give you scripture and a love dare for each day. In these Love Dares you are asked to do different things like giving you spouse a small gift, telling them you love them 3 time in a day, writing them a note of encouragement. Then harder things like asking you spouse what are three area in your life that you need to work on (and not respond or get angry -- that was hard). In the first 5 or 6 days Eddie was pretty much no responsive. He would just look at me like I was crazy when I said I loved him or had encouraging words, he  looked at the gift I gave him and through it aside. But, it was around day 15 that I began to see his walls come down, and his heart soften. Again, that wasn't me this was God. He was not only healing the many years of hurt that I had tried to pretend didn't exist, He was healing my marriage piece by piece and day by day. It was at the end of the 40 days that I sat back in awe of what God had done. Eddie and I committed to never bring up the 'D' word as we call it ever again, and we moved forward both fully committed to the sacrament of marriage. I began attending a church and found a church that  I could call my home. I dove deep into a gospel centered community as my support. Almost a year to the date of when we began our talks of the 'D' word I found out that I was expecting our first child. This blessing was a reminder of how God is good, his love never fails and he never give up on us! And yet again sat back in awe of what God had done.

I thought that it would be easier to embrace my story writing it done but it honestly was just as tough as when I shared this with the MOPS group. I had to pause on a few different parts to go get myself some Kleenex. But I know that it is not in my own strengths that I was able to embrace my story and share it. I must give all of that glory to God. This year his called me to serve His Kingdom in a way I never thought possible and yes in my own strength it would not be possible. He called me to serve not because I am the mom or wife that "has it all together". He called me because I am broken and I am redeemed through His sufferings and what he did on the cross for us all.

Following me sharing we had our speaker Adelle Gabielson, and she shared this beautiful picture that defined what God did in my life. It was a picture of a stained glass mosaic, much like us we are little broken pieces put back together by God and when His light shines through us it brings a new beauty. This year our theme for MOPS is A Beautiful Mess" Embrace your Story". Little did I know that the plans that God had for me when I stepped out in faith as the coordinator. Our theme verse for the year is found in Ephesians. And I love this verse. It speaks of the truths that God as our redeemer has for us and how He sees us.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

Again, to this day I am in awe of what God has done, had someone told me almost 5 years ago as I lay weeping in my room that God would have brought me to where I am I can't say that I would have believed them. But his is my story, that God has made shine in His infinite wisdom and truths. My hopes in sharing my story is that other moms in our group will do the same. I know that every mom in our group has their own beautiful mess and their own story that defines them. And it is my prayer that we all can come to MOPS as a safe place to be vulnerable and share life with each other.

In his Joy! Shannon

Parenting: Trying to get a grip on discipline

The time has arrived and we are almost at the "terrible 2's" or "trying 2's". However, you choose to referrer to it the time has come....I wouldn't say that I have dreaded this season of Isaac's life arriving, I just knew that it meant like any other season that it would be time for a change (yet again). Isaac is exploring his new found freedoms of being a toddler in many ways. #1 on that list is testing his boundaries with Eddie and I. I do love when I come to pick him up from his Sunday school class and I hear that he is very obedient and a great listener, yet I don't want to be naive in thinking that that is enough or that it is up to others to teach him. I feel that when it comes to implementing a technique or method of discipline the same rule of being proactive definitely applies. I gave up the ideal that I was going to be a perfect parent with the most perfectly polite and well behaved kiddo on the planet a while ago. Becoming a parent truly humbled me to know that there is no perfect parent other than God, and striving to obtain it will run you very dry!

Disciplining Isaac is not so that we [ I ] can "look good" as parent(s) or because we [ I ] want to not be the parent(s) that are being stared at in the store because of a massive meltdown or tantrum. Regardless of implementing discipline with Isaac I know that the meltdown and tantrums will be there. And "looking good" is fleeting because no matter what other people will be looking and judging. I am not guilt-free here because I too have been on the other side, sitting there watching a meltdown of sorts transpire between a child and parent and just flat out judging them for how they are handling it or the lack of them even doing anything. In being honest...this isn't just pre-kid Shannon judging this is recently. I admit it, I struggle with judging other parents. I try not to and there is no excuse but I do, I watch and still have the thoughts of thinking" "oh I'd never" or "really I can't believe that just happened". When the truth is that discipline is hard! Its hard on the parents and the kids. But, my thoughts are you can't just sit back and do nothing because its hard.

So...I don't travel down that road of perfection but like I mentioned before however, I do want to find a way that we can not only teach Isaac about obedience and respect but also about unconditional love and grace. Some may feel that those things don't belong in the same sentence but I absolutely do. As a follower of Christ I know that it is God's love and grace that I am forgiven by and that there is nothing that I can do that will separate me from that. Yet, that doesn't give me free reign to do whatever I want, God's desire for me is to have my obedience as well. Eddie's and my desire is to model that to Isaac while delving down this road of discipline and obedience. I will admit even writing this out makes it seem much easier than the task that lies ahead. Like all ventures in parenting this I know will be a constant works in progress.

I would love to say that this is the part that I tell you that I have figured it out and I have a wonderful technique that we have implemented in our family and Isaac has taken to with out. The truth is we have a good base of our values and morals and that's all folks! Although I will not diminish our beliefs or morals that we are desiring to instill in Isaac as we help mold his character because it is a good start. I just know that the thought it not enough with out an action plan. We do need explore and learn some more about disciplining children and what will work for our family as a whole. That is one of the reasons why I am super excited to be attending a seminar that our Church is hosting this Saturday (06/28) called Confident Parenting . I am very much looking forward to getting more direction in my parenting as well as partnering with Eddie and being on the same page. If you are local I encourage you to think and pray about attending!

Below are a couple of books that I have set on my to read list for this summer. The first book "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan Ph.D. was a recommendation from my sister and I have seen first hand that although it is not meltdown or tantrum proof (I know that doesn't exist) it has had a positive effect on the obedience of her girls. Secondly "Confident Parenting" by Jim Burns which I do not know too much about other than that it is the book that is the basis of the parenting seminar in which we are attending this weekend. This is the very beginning of this works in progress of trying to get a grip on discipline. I know we still have a long journey a head and I will be posting updates good or bad. I like to keep it honest and authentic here.

Cosleeping...Americas Dirty Little Secret

I've been thinking about making a post in regards to cosleeping for a while now. It was a little bit back that a friend of mine whom I love for her openness and honestly said, "cosleeping is Americas dirty little secret". That really resonated with me and rang very true to me. True because we've been there as a family feeling embarrassment, shame, justified, and just trying to survive another day as new parents. I'm calling cosleeping a dirty little secret becasue often people don't want to open up about it or even talk openly about it until they find other parents doing the same and they feel like they are in the 'safe zone' to reveal the truth about their sleeping situation. Believe me I know it, because I've lived it.

First, I do want to say this is by no means going to be me on a soap box advocating or defending a side. It is simply me being open and honest about my family's choices and what has worked and not worked for us. To clarify before I dive in there is a difference between cosleeping and bed sharing cosleeping is broad term that generally means sharing a room with your child. And then there is bed sharing which is exactly as it sounds...its sharing a bed. Been there and done both as you will read about later in this post. 

Without a doubt I can let you know that bed sharing was not the family plan.  A direct quote pre kid, "I will never let my children sleep in my bed! NEVER!" Cosleeping on the other hand was our original plan. I knew that I didn't want to have our little guy too far (other room) I wanted him within arms reach in a bassinet. Then as he out grew the bassinet I would transition him into the other room. Well...in retrospect I now see why so many people give the advice to new parents that things rarely go as planned. Because in true Isaac form my plans were not his (just like his entrance into this world!) and he was not a fan of the bassinet. It was mostly due to survival mode that we first begun to bed share. I was sleep deprived with a lazy nurser that would wake up right on cue to me finally falling asleep! This is where I will say that EVERY child is different and I'm sure that I could have implemented A stricter regime for his sleeping and eating but at 1-4 months of life it was not what we chose to do as a family. We chose to bed share. We set up a little space I'm between Eddie and I using the changing table pad and with one arm firmly flexed and ready to punch Eddie in the back if he even thought about rolling towards the baby..this is how we survived, and slept. 

With Isaac getting older and mobility changing a new plan developed. It was time to transition him back to his crib. We still chose to cosleep by sharing our room. Well, with a 1 bedroom condo we could put him or or ourselves in the front room but...we didn't want to do that. So, with this transition came sleep training. Yes, I said it sleep training. Some may think that because we where bed sharing that we must be softies that would never ever let our precious baby cry it out. Well, you'd be wrong with that assumption. I knew the te had come for Isaac to truly learn how to put himself to sleep. It was tough I wish that it I could say that sleep training is easy but it wasn't and it isn't. At least it wasn't in out home. Isaac took to sleep training like he did nursing. He put up a knock down drag out fight, but in the end it was all so worth it. He was putting himself to sleep! Oh did we feel victorious. We wanted to pat ourselves in the back, but just when we where about to. Again, in true Isaac form he had his own ideas. According to the books , Drs, friendly advice, and unsolicited advice we had been given when they wake you let them cry it out again. For us that didn't work! It's not that we are softies I swear! But as a Mom, wife, employee, and human being enough becomes enough and you begin to live in survival mode yet again. 

Although Isaac was putting himself to sleep (which was still very amazing) he was still a night waker. He was 12 months, 15 months, and 18 months and still waking at night. He would go to sleep around 7:30 or 8 then like wake around 10pm-12am every night. Let him re-cry it out wasn't working. For almost 3 weeks straight he wouldn't back down. Simply and truthfully he broke me down with sleep deprivation. It was at this point that we divided that a cosleeping/bed sharing combo would work the best for us. Isaac would put himself to sleep, then when he would wake up instead of having a stand off crib side we would just put him in the bed and he would fall right back asleep. Believe me, at this point Eddie and I both were still wondering why was our 18 month old not sleeping through the night (waking at 3:30-4am - every night). You really questions things about your parenting choices, what you are doing wrong, and why this is still happening. It was a tough and rough season of life. Isaac was sleeping longer than he ever did before, but after 18 long months we were very worn. 

It was around 19-20 months Isaac finally began to sleep past the 3:30-4am wake ups. He was still waking to be placed in our bed but in my eyes if he was doing that before I went to bed and then letting sleep through the night it was a vast improvement! Consecutive sleep is a huge improvement all together for our family. If you have a child that has struggled with sleeping there really is no further explanation required here. Others may be quick in offering advice in what we did wrong, what we can try, or maybe not advice but just flat out judgement. However, like I mentioned in the beginning this post isn't about that it is about my family's story and how I have embarrassed my own trial and error of being a first time parent. Because I know that I could have, should have, or even if would have...but we didn't. We CHOSE to cosleep and bed share. I get it that this is not for every family out there. I too love my space and my bed but I also know that Isaac will not be 10 yrs old and still sleeping in our bed! Yet, I also know he is my tender heart little guy that will sneak in after a bad dream and I am OK with that!

My 2 cents:

1. Don't feel shamed for your choices that you make as a family  -- that's what they are they are your family's choices! Embrace them and figure out what works best for your family.
2. Change it up -- just because one way of cosleeping or bed sharing was working for months it might not work as your kiddo grows. 
3. The whole world doesn't revolve around your kid -- yep I said it again I'm not some push over Momma with no boundaries. You still need to set boundaries with sleeping and discipline 
4. Keep checking in with your spouse or partner -- It is vital to your relationship that this be a choice you make together. If one is thinking its time for a change...communicate it and make it happen 
5. Don't let the spark die out -- the million dollar question....if a kids in your bed how to maintain the intimacy? Without revealing too much..lets be honest its boring even if you didn't have a kid to only mess around in your bed! You get creative and make it work, but don't use a kid in the bed as an excuse to NOT be intimate. 

Our current sleeping set up 

Isaac is ONE

So...Isaac is now almost 17 months old and I am finally getting around to finishing this post. It has been a busy couple of months and I have always had the good intention but just never materialized...Enough with the 'i'm busy' blah blah blah...

Isaac,

My heart never knew a love like this until the moment that I first heard your little heartbeat, the first time that I felt you flutter in my tummy, to the first time that I saw your precious little face. You are truly the best gift that I have ever been blessed with in my life. You would think that because I am the Momma that I would be the one showing you everything however even though you are only 12 months old you have taught your Momma so much. You have taught me that it is OK to not be a perfect Mom, that you have to laugh even when the chaos is happening, and that plans are great but living in the now is far more important.

Each day is new and it is our job to live it out to the fullest. It is my true joy to see you grow into this little spit fire toddler that wants to be on the move and in EVERYTHING! Seeing the world through your innocent eyes has changed me more than you will ever know. I adore your smile, giggles, and little noises that you make. You are my precious little miracle!

xoxo, Momma

The Journey Began

It all stated with the hope and prayer that we would conceive a little baby. Like many newly weds my brain was on a baby and the hubs mind was thinking 5 year plan. Well I guess we did meet that mark somewhere in the middle because around the 2 1/2 year mark I had given up the pressure of pursuing a family and my wonderful husband Eddie approached me and said he wanted to start our little family. By the grace and wonderful blessing of God 3 short months later we found out we were expecting Aug 2011. It is truly the best gift ever and the feeling of pure joy just illuminate my heart when I think back to that moment.

 Then came 9 long months of pregnancy and I would do it all over and over again for Isaac.

The Journey is Here

Being a Momma to a one year old is just crazy. I say crazy because this entire past year you are so focused on month to month and all the little milestones along the way; then 'big 1yr old bday' then when it all passes it is crazy that you reach that point of saying, "he's 1". Of course there are plenty milestones to be had at this age too but I'm still shocked when I hear myself saying that he is 1yrs old. I started this post when he had just turned one, then resumed at 14 months...now fast forward he is almost 17 months. He is a full blown toddler that never takes a breath and I love that about him. He is into everything, on everything, and never sitting still for more than a few moments (other than when he sleeps). My verbal and chatty little guy has tripled his vocabulary and can even get some broken sentences out. Isaac's favorite words are: doggie, ball, almost, ut oh!, that, mine, agua, bebe, and of course Momma and Dada.

The Journey Continues...You think you know..but really will you ever?

So I am really starting to now know and see what a fool I was. Maybe that seems a bit harsh (even if its the truth) but it is the best way to describe what I am about to go into. I was a fool mainly because I under estimated what it takes to be a parent. It is very easy to sit back and look at other parent and pass those silent judgments in your mind about their parenting abilities. Then you become a parent yourself and your world is literally flipped inside out and upside down. The preconceived notions of what a parent is and does is far gone...you are in the trenches of parenthood. Each day brings new blessings and new challenges. Some days  I feel like a superhero and victorious and others it as if I never even let the day begin before it is over. We are still going through lots of changes as a family and adapting to the unselfish lifestyle that is a must as a parent. But, I would not change my life for a minute. I know with out a doubt that being Isaac's Momma is what the Lord has called me to and I am so very lucky and blessed that I am able to shepard this little boys heart. It does not come with ease and I am still a constant work in progress. However, I know that I am up for anything along this journey!