I am so happy to say that today marks the first day of the second trimester for my Little Toasty Bun he or she is 14 weeks woo hoo!! This brings some much needed relief both physically and emotionally for me. Physically because my energy is almost back to normal. My body isn't aching like I'm getting the flu and because my stomach has a real appetite back. Relief emotionally because I feel like I am starting to let go of the control freak inside of me. Being a control freak has been the hardest thing to let go of through this pregnancy thus far. With every appointment that comes or each lab test that has been done I find myself overcome at times by a sickening fear that something will be wrong. First there was the ultrasound I feared a tubal pregnancy, then came the lab test and I thought for sure they are going to find one thing wrong, and at our last appointment I thought we may not hear a heart beat. At each step of the way I have been proven wrong, not only was our LTB growing in my uterus but, all our labs came back healthy, and we got to hear a strong 155 bpm heart beat!
This week I have found myself clinging the the scripture Philippians 4:4-5 Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again Rejoice! I love that this scripture does not just say rejoice once but it says it twice. Almost as though the Apostle Paul knew that we would need to be reminded. To me this is a reminder that I do not need to be a control freak but a rejoicing freak. What I mean by that is that I can tell myself over and over again that I am not the one in control of this pregnancy but until I completely surrender to rejoicing in the Lord ALWAYS in the good and the bad, the control freak in me will always shine through. By being a rejoicing freak I can grow in my faith and my love for Christ. To trust the God that I serve is in control is at times easier said that done, that is surely what I have learned coming out of the first trimester. So this second trimester I have a renewed sense to rejoice through it all and always placing my trust in the Lord first, not to spend my time in in doubt. Rejoicing to me breeds life, hope, passion, grace, and love and those are all things that I intend on passing on to my Little Toasty Bun!
This week I have found myself clinging the the scripture Philippians 4:4-5 Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again Rejoice! I love that this scripture does not just say rejoice once but it says it twice. Almost as though the Apostle Paul knew that we would need to be reminded. To me this is a reminder that I do not need to be a control freak but a rejoicing freak. What I mean by that is that I can tell myself over and over again that I am not the one in control of this pregnancy but until I completely surrender to rejoicing in the Lord ALWAYS in the good and the bad, the control freak in me will always shine through. By being a rejoicing freak I can grow in my faith and my love for Christ. To trust the God that I serve is in control is at times easier said that done, that is surely what I have learned coming out of the first trimester. So this second trimester I have a renewed sense to rejoice through it all and always placing my trust in the Lord first, not to spend my time in in doubt. Rejoicing to me breeds life, hope, passion, grace, and love and those are all things that I intend on passing on to my Little Toasty Bun!
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