So, originally my goal was to blog each of these week of my last trimester. It seems that with my maternity leave I didn't make the time to write about these last few weeks. Or to be completely honest at times I really didn't want to write about them. Not because of anything that was horribly wrong, but I have to admit as much as I prepared myself for a late or on time arrival near the due date I was really not prepared. At week 38 having more Braxton Hicks, Isaac dropping, and losing my mucus plug I was convinced he's be here between the 15th-20th of August! There had been several nights that the contractions would come and then after about 45mins they would just stop. Other times they would even keep me up for at least 2 hours!!
Well, then week 39 arrived. I was thinking ok this has got to be it. My body is prepped and Isaac is coming for sure. I went to my 39 week appointment got the great news that I was dilated to 2cm so she went ahead and stripped my membranes. My excitement level was high and very expectant that he would come any day! Week 39 was a rough one both physically and emotionally. The past week I developed carpal tunnel in my left hand the swelling is was at an all time high which made sleeping at night horrible. I felt so lucky when I would look at the clock and I had gotten a hour and a half of sleep. Emotionally I found myself slipping into the last thing that I had told myself would happen a small bout of depression. All along I was also convinced that, "I wouldn't hit me like that" or "I'm a tough one, I can handle it" it was and did happen to me. It wasn't like an all day depression or an immobilizing depression more of a sadness and fear that something is wrong with me or Isaac. Emotionally I was just tired, I got some really great advice talking to my sister Janelle. She said that instead of internalizing all that was going on and just taking it a day at a time, use this time to draw closer to God. Finding peace in His word has been beyond calming and helpful in the last week. I have known God's presence and blessing through out this pregnancy God reminded me that He is in control and that His timing is perfect. Because I have not had Isaac yet I will be receiving the entire 4 weeks of my maternity disability ($700+) God is good he will provide this is money that we as a family do need. I have had more time to connect with my husband before we are a family of 3 God again knowing this is time that is necessary for our marriage, and I have had more to myself than I have had in years time to spend with him to refresh and renew spiritually before Isaac's arrival!
Now here we are at week 40, and today is the estimated due date...still no Isaac. But I am really perfectly fine with that. I did have a great visit to the Dr.'s today. Isaac has a healthy and strong heartbeat 140bpm, he is estimated to be about 8lbs! I even got to see another sneak peak of our little guy, or now I actually started referring to him a our little cubb-a-roo. His head is still big, and she pointed out his back and legs and of course my eyes got teary. Looking back over this journey I remember when he was our little Toasty Bun just the size of a kidney bean. The amniotic fluid is not a high as they would like, I am headed back into the office on Monday for a stress test, but if all is well and he still holds out I will be induced on Tuesday night. Although induction is not my first choice at all, I know that God has it under control.
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