12/22/10 - The beginning
Although I am starting to write this blog, I know that I will not publish it today. The reason...we are not yet announcing that we are expecting our first child in August 2011. There are different norms about when you should announce and how long you should wait, but we have decided to wait until around the end of the first trimester! I could not be more thrilled to have such a blessing growing inside of me. It has been a dream of mine since a young child to be a mother, and now that I have a little Toasty bun in the oven it is an amazing feeling.
This past year has been full of amazing growth for Eddie and I both in our marriage. To put it in a nutshell, there is so much more that you can learn about your partner once you are actually married. We have progressed into another chapter in our lives now and to now I can see that the blessing of pregnancy has already brought us closer yet again. The decision to start a family was something that we never really saw eye to eye on until late this year. The time just felt right and that God was letting us both know that this was his plan for us.
To know that I am going to be a mom to my own child makes me overwhelmed with different emotions. I always thought that I know exactly what kind of mom that I would be and now it is not at all that I feel unsure about being a mom, but I know I have so much to learn then I ever thought. It is one thing to see my sisters go through it but another to parent my own child. Being a Mom is a very special task, and I feel blessed beyond measure that God had given this child to me. I do have to say that I am very glad that I have a long road ahead of me because I need every minute to prepare for all of this. I couldn't even imagine finding out you are pregnant and then giving birth within 4 months like some other mammals! Because that is a scary thought. eeekk!!So many have already mentioned that it will be here before I know it..and that also gives me excitement as well. The thought of holding my little baby girl or boy in my arms melts my heart into pieces.
01/03 - Tick Tock Tick Tock ...
Wow...these past weeks have gone by rather slow...But I would have to say that is all in tune with how I am feeling. My energy levels have been so low lately. I find my self wanting to take naps as often a possible. I would have to say that I do feel rather lucky because I do not have major morning sickness but...the nausea is definitely in full swing a day long :( the thing that I keep reminding my self of is the amazing end result.
Eddie and I had such a cute thought to wait until Christmas Eve and Christmas to let the family know...and that DID NOT happen. It seems like Eddie has had the problem keeping the news in..LOL (so not typical of him) What can I say other than it is so evident that he is so happy about being a daddy! We have told quite a few people already, and some would frown and say that so many people shouldn't know. However, my sister Janelle shared a very wise piece of advise with me..."You can tell as many people as you want. You just have to be prepared that that many people are going to be asking how Mommy and baby are doing..and should something happen you have to be willing to share the news" That piece of advise really resonated with me. Of course I don't want to even let my mind go to that place to think about the "what if" but that is a part of early pregnancy. I know that this pregnancy is in God's hands not mine and I find complete comfort in that fact alone.
With that said....This Thursday 01/06 will be our first prenatal appointment! I am beyond excited, when I last spoke with Kaiser they said that we are to have our first ultrasound. According to some things that I have
read it may be to early to hear the heartbeat but as longs as we get to see that our "little toasty bun" (LTB) is doing good and is healthy that is all I care about.
01/06 - Our First Appointment
I am work, counting the minutes until I get to leave...about 7 more minutes and then I am going to meet up with Eddie to go to Kaiser for our first appointment. I could not be more excited and slightly nervous. Not nervous that anything is wrong but that I really just don't know what to expect. This being our first child this entire experience is new. Of course I have been brushing up on some materials about what to expect but there is nothing like going through it. I have a list of about 15 questions that I've been dying to ask my obgyn. And also slightly laughing that Eddie is going to his first visit to the womens dept. We had a chuckle about that this morning. Today is the day that starts it all, well other than getting a blood test that says that we are 100% prego. Off the the appointment...pics to follow
01/07 - After the appointment
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| LTB @ 7 weeks |
So, it is confirmed I am only 7 weeks and 1 day as of yesterday :) LTB is progressing on schedule and looks health according to my doctor. We even got to see the little flicker of the heart beat yesterday. It made my heart flutter to see that movement. I quickly shot a look at Eddie and his face was priceless...he is for sure going to cry in the delivery room! I really now understand what all those parents are talking about the love that you feel for your child. This little being inside me is no larger than a kidney bean and I am already to give he/she my all. The official due date after the measurement is August 25, 2011. But, with the little experience that I have gained from my sisters I am giving that time frame a two week buffer..it could be two weeks after that, or two weeks before. I do have one selfish motive to have LTB before September and that is so that he/she can be in the same grade as their older cousin Fiona due in February. But, if not of course it will not be crushing by any means.
We let a few more people know, but are not ready to make the announcement until about 12 weeks now. It just seem like the best thing to do for now. Although...we may let it out sooner it just depends on what we feel. Our next appointment is a 2hr prenatal class, that should be interesting and that is followed by another appointment February 17th. That is when we will be able to hear the heart beat of our LTB!
01/13 Wow...this is not exactly what I was expecting
Ok, so I have seen many of "fake" TV pregnancies and even been there to see my own sisters through their's.On TV you see the woman run to the bathroom then come back out like, "oh that was rough" and I've seen my sisters say they feel uncomfortable or they are not feeling well. However I must say that if this is even a little glimpse into the saying, " until you have your own baby you will never know how it is" could not be ringing more true! The baby is about the size of kidney bean but man-o-man LTB has put me though quite a bit this past week. My fatigue shows in my face everyday! It is really hard to hide here at work at times. I just want to crawl up on my desk and take a nap right here. Or it has also felt like the clock is working backwards at times. Now, I don't mean to sound like I am not overjoyed to have LTB growing inside me...it just that I must admit that I had no idea what to expect. Each woman goes through different things and I get that so I am not starting a pitty party with this post..just a simple reminder that when others have said that you would know until you are there...they are not saying that to feel exclusive or like you could not understand. Its just the simple fact that now I understand and will not under estimate all the things to come.
02/04 - Almost time to say good bye to the first trimester!!
It is very exciting news to almost be saying goodbye to the first trimester. I would have to say the pregnancy is not a season in your life the just flies by. These past few months have been a bit of a roller coaster. Some days I felt great others I felt as if I wanted to just crawl up in a ball and cry. However, with the birth of my newest niece Fiona (02/01/11) it has given me an instant reminder to 'keep my eye on the prize'. I know that when I look back my pregnancy will seem like a flash of time but with all this anticipation of the unexpected each week seems like FOREVER at times. Of course we are no where near ready to welcome our little one home, but just the thought of the first time that I will get to see his or her face makes me say, "I want baby to be here now!!!" So, instead I try to keep focused on all the milestones to come. March 5th we are going to the 4D baby view and will possibly find out the gender of LTB :) I have toyed with finding out VS. not finding out the gender and it is not just because I cannot wait it is also because of the boding time that we will have with he or she while they are in mommy's tummy.
02/08- Time to wrap it up...
So we made the big announcement! So I felt like it is time to wrap up this post :) It feels so great to not have to feel like you have to conceal the most awesome thing going on in your life. I am getting 'thicker' around the middle as the pregnancy website put it, but I like to just say LTB is growing bigger. And I try to think of how I will handle the first comment of someone saying, "wow you're huge" or "wow you getting so big" so for now I have the response planned of smiling and saying, "yes, the baby is getting bigger". He or she is about he size of a lime now, and looking back to think how small he or she started out it truly amazes me. A week from today is out end of the first trimester appointment at Kaiser and we are going to hear the heart beat for the first time and I cannot wait. I now try to keep the attitude of savoring each step along the way instead of wishing and hoping for it to be rushed. Although I cannot deny that I am really eager to find out if this is a boy or a girl so we can give he or she a name.
