Isaac is 3 Months

Big boy holding his head up

Monday of this week marked Isaac's 3 months of life. To say that this is an adventure would be the understatement of the year! The beginning of this journey after his birth was rocky and postpartum was more than I had ever thought it would be. However now at the 3 months mark I feel like I have earned some patches for my 'Mommyhood Belt'. I don't think that there will ever be a point that I have it all figured out, and I have also come to realize that there will never be an 'easy' stage of his life. There is something that I am always learning and Isaac and I are still figuring out how to best work for 'Team Tostado' as I like to put it. My advice would not be to lower your expectations of motherhood but to make it a combination of being open to change and a willingness to be molded. This time last year Isaac was being knit into my tummy and I was yet to know that I was pregnant. Yet, should you asked me what kind of parent I want to be and how I would be letting my baby sleep it would be completely different from the reality of what it is today. 

The shirt says it all...he's sooo handsome

 Team Tostado is building a family! It is an amazing feeling to know that this is the start of our family. This is something that I have dreamed about and prayed for many years. It is crazy to see Isaac's little face and know that he came from both Eddie and I.Having your our child truly changes you, and you have to be a parent to really understand. I thought that I knew how much I would love and care for my child but it was a million times underestimated. In complete honesty the love that I feel has grown with each day from knowing that I was pregnant, to seeing him and hearing for the first time, to the first time I held him.

Catchin' flys...love those lips

 Celebrating our first big holiday Thanksgiving was perfect. Isaac loves being around family and will prove himself to be quite the party animal in years to come. Often it seems as if he does not want to miss a beat. When he was in my tummy he had a personality but I love getting to know him more as a little person and seeing that personality grow and grow. Isaac is also such a happy baby. Every morning he wakes up with a smile on his face. To know and see that joy it is just contagious, you can't help but be all smiles when you see that face. Of course every parent thinks that their child is a genius or advanced and I must say that Eddie and I are also in that boat. Isaac is already holding his head up in a sitting position by himself for minutes at a time. He can also bear his weight on his legs, jumping on our laps is great fun for him. And he is also looking as if he is ready to start solids by the time that he is 4 months...it is so funny that when reading all these accomplishments. Some people..ok well I'm sure most are not nearly as impressed as Team Tostado is with them but this is the joy of being a parent. Your kiddo could be having a big poop and you're cheering them on to the big finish!

Always all smiles after the bath

3 months is truly marking a great milestone in all of our lives. We have made it to through 1/4th of Isaac's first year. Like my pregnancy posts I would like to finish off these post in the same way in listing what we are looking forward to. Although I cannot commit to writing what will happen week by week, I would like to say that I will TRY to do a month by month but...we shall see!

What we are looking forward to: Decorating the house for Christmas, Family and Friends Christmas parties, Isaac's first Christmas,  meeting Isaac's buddy Bella and spending time with her Momma, and Isaac's 4 month check up.

Welcoming Isaac Edward Keli'i Tostado

Our first family picture

What an adventure this has been over the last 10 months. I can remember the feeling that I had the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test on Dec 16th last year. I am more than proud to officially announce on this blog that Isaac is here. As many of you know or may have read on my previous post Isaac did not make an early appearance into the world as the Dr's and I had thought. I guess my "mother's intuition" was way off on this one. For weeks I was having contractions and signs that labor was right around the corner. So much so that when the time really came I was not even sure that it was really here. I had pretty much given up the hope that I would start labor naturally and was looking forward to my scheduled induction set for Tuesday August 30th. However, like usually my little man had plans of his own, and made his intro into this world at 11:27pm on August 29th!

1 day old my little skinny mini

I had started this post just a few days after Isaac's 1 month, but now that he is 7 1/2 weeks I am actually getting around to trying to finish it....These past weeks have at times been a complete blur. I have seen my precious little one go from being minutes old to now almost 2 months, and each day we are learning new things. In all honesty the first few weeks were really hard. Much harder than I could have ever anticipated. I had thought that I had prepared myself for what was to come and I couldn't have been more wrong. The birth plan going completely out the window was just the tip of the iceberg. It was my very first lesson that what you plan on happening is not realistic. The very last thing that I wanted was a cesarean delivery and that is what happened. When they told me that I was our only option I was completely devastated. It sounds really horrible but I had to snap out of it quick because I knew once I came out of the operating room I was going to be Isaac's Mommy. As I lay there on the table waiting for him to come out there was so much chatter in my head, but I really had to cling to the children's song "This is the day". The lyrics are simple, "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!". Here I was about to meet Isaac I could not feel any self-pitty I need to see God through all of it.

Hearing Issac's first cry was like music to my ears, he was okay and was here. Of course tears feel from my eyes. Although the moment was nothing like I had imagined it was here and the reality was we were now officially a family of three. It was hard to let Eddie and Isaac go as they went to the labor room while I just lay there and let them finish getting me all put back together. What I have come to realize now is that many people have c-sections, but they really don't talk about it. I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. The hardest part of it all was the wait to hold Isaac. Even after I was in the labor room I had to wait even longer to hold Isaac due to all the fluids in my body making me shake like a crack addict! The nurse kept asking if I was ready and I just had to keep my composure and say, "No, I'd like to not be shaking so much when I hold him so that I don't drop him." Not to mention that due to the drugs I still could not feel my lower half. I was NOT prepared for the surgery at all. The remaining days in the hospital where really rough, adjusting to motherhood along with recovering from the c-section seemed like an impossibility at times.

 Ok...and I am back now at 8 weeks old trying to finish this post...I had done all the reading about baby blues and postpartum, but like hoping that I would never have to deal with the c-section I felt the same about postpartum. To say that I was a ball of emotions would be an understatement. I was doing all that I could to put on that brave face and say that all was fine, but on the second day in the hospital it seemed like it was all coming down and falling a part. Isaac came down with a fever, the time he was nursing was going down, and he was loosing too much weight. They had me start supplementing him with formula which was another upsetting thing for me. I was dead set on breast feeding and to have to supplement him hit me hard. All of this was overwhelming for me as a new mother. I felt as if I was completely alone, which is really funny because I had Eddie there with me and my family and friends visiting me. I really started to doubt my abilities as a mother, and started thinking what in the world did I get myself into. Then I started feeling worse because I felt that I shouldn't be having these feelings. What got me through all the postpartum was my relationship with God. Being able to talk to him in prayer minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. Being a parent is wonderful and I couldn't imagine not having Isaac in our lives for one second! However I know it is something that I could not and wouldn't want to do with out the Lord in my life. I have been using the devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It is AMAZING!! From the first day that I picked it up it is as if each devotional has been written specifically to me on that day as something that God wants to share with me. Stacey Wood shared a message last Mother's Day and to sum it up with one statement "Children are not for our happiness but for our holiness". Each day I am learning more and more about this. There are several happy moments of Motherhood, but they are also paired with moments of self doubt, anger, resentment, fear, and unhappiness. Knowing that God is shaping my character gives me so much peace. I see more and also understand that there is a purpose behind all the not so glamorous side of parenting.

My model baby @ 1month old

Isaac has grown and changed so much in these past eight weeks. I was looking at pictures of him from the hospital yesterday and almost can't remember what it was like when he was that small. He has gone from being my little skinny mini at 6lbs 9oz, to 11lbs! He is now making cooing and squeaking noises to use his voice and talk to us. He found his hands last week but he doesn't know that they are really his yet, he just knows that he can seem them and suck on his hand. His little legs are also not so little anymore, he likes to use then to kick up a storm. We have a kick and play bouncer that he loves to play in and it a such a joy to have see his little face light up when he sees the little lights go off. We are slowly working our way into a routine of sorts. Because he is just 8 weeks, I am not writing anything on the calendar because I know that it could all change tomorrow. But, I am counting my blessings that he is a healthy little one that is a good eater and a good sleeper. I am looking forward to the many adventures that there will be to come and whatever else Issac has in store for us to learn as first time parents. My goal is to also keep this blog updates more often so that one day I can show this to him and he can learn more about his Mom.

8 weeks @ Pumpkin Patch

The last 3 weeks 38,39 &40

So, originally my goal was to blog each of these week of my last trimester. It seems that with my maternity leave I didn't make the time to write about these last few weeks. Or to be completely honest at times I really didn't want to write about them. Not because of anything that was horribly wrong, but I have to admit as much as I prepared myself for a late or on time arrival near the due date I was really not prepared. At week 38 having more Braxton Hicks, Isaac dropping, and losing my mucus plug I was convinced he's be here between the 15th-20th of August! There had been several nights that the contractions would come and then after about 45mins they would just stop. Other times they would even keep me up for at least 2 hours!!

Well, then week 39 arrived. I was thinking ok this has got to be it. My body is prepped and Isaac is coming for sure. I went to my 39 week appointment got the great news that I was dilated to 2cm so she went ahead and stripped my membranes. My excitement level was high and very expectant that he would come any day! Week 39 was a rough one both physically and emotionally. The past week I developed carpal tunnel in my left hand the swelling is was at an all time high which made sleeping at night horrible. I felt so lucky when I would look at the clock and I had gotten a hour and a half of sleep. Emotionally I found myself slipping into the last thing that I had told myself would happen a small bout of depression. All along I was also convinced that, "I wouldn't hit me like that" or "I'm a tough one, I can handle it" it was and did happen to me. It wasn't like an all day depression or an immobilizing depression more of a sadness and fear that something is wrong with me or Isaac. Emotionally I was just tired, I got some really great advice talking to my sister Janelle. She said that instead of internalizing all that was going on and just taking it a day at a time, use this time to draw closer to God. Finding peace in His word has been beyond calming and helpful in the last week. I have known God's presence and blessing through out this pregnancy God reminded me that He is in control and that His timing is perfect. Because I have not had Isaac yet I will be receiving the entire 4 weeks of my maternity disability ($700+)  God is good he will provide this is money that we as a family do need. I have had more time to connect with my husband before we are a family of 3 God again knowing this is time that is necessary for our marriage, and I have had more to myself than I have had in years time to spend with him to refresh and renew spiritually before Isaac's arrival!  

Now here we are at week 40, and today is the estimated due date...still no Isaac. But I am really perfectly fine with that. I did have a great visit to the Dr.'s today. Isaac has a healthy and strong heartbeat 140bpm, he is estimated to be about 8lbs! I even got to see another sneak peak of our little guy, or now I actually started referring to him a our little cubb-a-roo. His head is still big, and she pointed out his back and legs and of course my eyes got teary. Looking back over this journey I remember when he was our little Toasty Bun just the size of a kidney bean. The amniotic fluid is not a high as they would like, I am headed back into the office on Monday for a stress test, but if all is well and he still holds out I will be induced on Tuesday night. Although induction is not my first choice at all, I know that God has it under control.

36 & 37 Weeks

37 weeks and yes...that is a moo-moo

 It is a very odd feeling to truly be in the last weeks of our pregnancy! I know that I have commented before that the weeks have flown by here at the end, but to know that we have less than a month to our EDD it is really crazy! Isaac is progressing on schedule and is even measuring a week ahead of the due date. During our visit to the Dr's 2 weeks ago a direct quote from the Dr was , "whoa Momma that is a BIG head!". Which makes it clear that he has my head and not his Daddy's..LOL!! He is still a busy boy in my tummy but things are more cramped then ever in there. That is why when he dropped last week is was a big relief. At first  was really not sure that he had dropped but then not only by the look of my belly I could for the first time in months take a deeper breath. The biggest bonus of him dropping has to be the relief of no more heart burn!

These past couple of weeks have been pretty busy...and I missed my usual post but now that I am on MATERNITY leave :) I have have more time on my hands. It is a great feeling to wake up in the morning and not have to go to work but know that I can just focus on being pregnant. Maternity leave this early was not my plan but that is what my Dr feels is best for me, so who am I to argue with Dr.'s orders. I am now just getting the finishing touches on the remaining baby stuff, I have now moved on to getting the final things ready for me.  This has been my first week of maternity leave and I am loving it...but of course anxiously awaiting the arrival of Mr. Isaac.

When you imagine yourself pregnant I don't think you could ever fully prepare yourself for what lies ahead. I remember laughing with my sisters on several occasion say "I'd never wear a moo-moo!" well folks the day has come, and I am not at all embarrassed to floss the moo-moo. Now to clarify I did not go out to the store to buy one, and it's not something that I would wear out in public (yet) but it is something that will most likely be worn daily until Isaac's arrival. This particular moo-moo holds a special place in my heart. It was made for my Mom when she was pregnant with me by my Grandma. When putting it on looking at the stitching got me all choked up. I lost my Grams when I was 16 and as a young girl always imagined her there with me through all theses big transitions in my life. To have a piece of her near me warms my heart and today just reminded me of how much I miss her. So, wearing this moo-moo is not only comfort to my body but comfort to my soul. 

This to look forward to this week: My 29th birthday! A weekly Dr's appointment, and baby watch.

35 weeks

Hello 35 weeks, you would think that not so much could change in only a matter of a week but they definitely can. I need to start getting use to this because I'm sure any parent can attest to that having little ones can be a not only a week by week change but daily or even hourly changes. When I went into see my Dr. last Friday for my regular check up. Overall it went very well, however she did surprise me and shake things up a bit by letting me know that she would like me out on maternity leave by the end of the month. There is no medical emergency why she would like to take me out, but she just feels that it would be best for my continued health as well as prepping for baby Isaac's arrival. It is not like a have a stressful job and I am already down to 30hrs per week, but I am listening to whatever the Dr. says. I guess you could say that the news is somewhat bittersweet. Bittersweet in that I was planning to work up until a week before my estimated due date, but I am flexible and maybe if this little guy comes earlier than expected this will work out for me. I have really been trying not to stress about all that needs to get done..even saying 'stress' is taking it a bit far. I am just the type of person that likes to be prepared and have everything ready ahead of time. That is why I feel that taking off a bit earlier than I had planned would be just what I need.

On Saturday my Sister's and Mom hosted a baby shower for me! It was awesome, it was a wonderful time to relax and enjoy the company of my family and friends. A shower sounds like a corny word, but it is really how you feel. You feel completely showered with love, just unpacking all the gifts and setting stuff up Eddie and I counted our many many blessings on how much support and love we have received from our family and friends. I do have to admit getting all of Isaac stuff ready is fun! At times it has proved to make me pretty tired but overall I have been having lot and lots of fun preparing for our little guy.

More baby Isaac news, they say that it is hard to really be sure or know..but I 95% sure that my little guy has "dropped". When the Dr. measured me she mentioned that I was measuring a little small, but that could mean that he is tilted in there or that he had begun to drop. Well, a couple of days after that when looking at my big ol' belly it looked a bit lower. There is definitely a lighter feeling in my belly and my heartburn had subsided. And according to my Baby Center info those are two key factors. This doesn't have me thinking that he is coming right away or anything, there was also the added disclaimer that babies can drop weeks before they are due.

Things to look forward to this week: Another Dr's appointment on Monday, possibly my last week of work before maternity leave, more reading on labor and breastfeeding.

34 weeks, it's the final count down

Hooray for 34 weeks! This is a week that I have very much been anticipating and looking forward to. Why? Because I can officially say a big GOOD-BYE to preterm labor. Now should our little man decide to make and earlier than expected arrival his has developed enough to be taken out of the 'high risk' or preterm zone. That just sounds so very very great to say, in everything letting go of my anxiety about this has been a constant test of my faith. I 100% trust that God is the one in control and when these insecurities start to penetrate I have to choose with everything that is in me to press stop. It really has been a constant battle that at times I have questioned giving up and giving in...but when I talk to God about it I again and again feel an overwhelming peace. God is constantly reminding me of his grace in that way. Now with all this talk about the potential about Isaac arriving early I am reminded of a prefect saying that my Mom told me when we were trying to conceive, "God's timing is prefect. He is never late and he is never early, he is ALWAYS on time".  This brings me back to knowing that there is definitely the potential of Isaac holding out until 41 weeks! I don't want to focus solely on the fact that his arrival may be early, I also want to keep in mind that he might decide that he is comfortable where he is for another 7 weeks or so. But overall....I just come back to know that what I think is early or late is irrelevant, God will have him come right on time.

I had a little chuckle this morning when reading the 34 weeks email from Baby Center. They like to compare the size of baby to fruit and veggies. This week he is the size of cantaloupe, for those that know me well you know how much I love my cantaloupe so this just made me chuckle to think of Isaac as a cantaloupe! I am enjoying this final count down in weeks. Even though there I am feeling like a rotisserie chicken turning during the night coupled with the constant bathroom visited (sometimes almost hourly..tmi) I still have energy and the swelling is really not bad at all. I am dare I say it...enjoying pregnancy. I would not be one so bold to say that I am loving pregnancy because that would make me a liar, but I have really enjoyed the 2nd and even much more so the 3rd trimester. Now coming into the final countdown as I like to refer to it I am just excited and happy for all that is to come, and feeling very blessed that I have had no major complications thus far. Labor is still on my mind pretty much everyday in one way or another. As well as I have to keep reminding myself to slow down...not literally like walking slow or driving slow, more like not trying to be so active and on the go.

Something different at the Tostado home this week is that Eddie is away at a conference...in Vegas!! A part of me was a bit worried with the "what if I go into labor" while his is gone but on the other hand I am really glad that he gets to get away and have some more down time before Isaac's arrival. He is only going to be gone for a couple of days but we sure do miss him already. Being at home alone has its perks of course and I am staying busy getting Issac stuff in order. I just got the stroller and baby carrier out of the box and put together and it is awesome. We got the Chicco KeyFit 30. After checking and comparing around I finally decided on this stroller and without Isaac here to test it out I am already very impressed. It has all the features that I wanted and probably some more that I will find and I can't wait to start using it. A BIG thanks to my wonderful sis-in-law Melissa and my Mother-in-law for getting it for us :)

Things to look forward to this week: Eddie (Daddy) coming home, over the weekend my Mom and sister's are hosting a baby shower for us! I am super super excited and can't wait. I know that it is going to be lots of fun mixed with great company, and a visit to the Dr to check on Isaac's progress....stay tuned!!

33 Weeks and Daddy is turning 33

Week 33 has arrived! With it being summer we are sure staying busy all the way around. What a blessing it has been to have so much time with friends and family. We celebrated with a baby shower hosted by the Tostado's, 4th of July BBQ at the Cornelio's, and a trip to the county fair. Not that once Isaac is here we will become hermits that never go out, but I know we have been taking full advantage of spending time out while Isaac is still safely cooking in the oven. With Isaac's arrival is getting closer and closer and I am more than elated to report that our health has continued to remain stable and the only contractions that I have been feeling are random Braxton Hicks. It is going to be Eddie 33rd birthday this Saturday, and we are celebrating 33 week as well...it just seems so fitting.

The shower hosted by the Tostado family was perfect in many ways. It was such a great time to get all the family together to just relax and enjoy food, drinks, and great company. We even got the wonderful surprise of Eddie's oldest sister and brother that came all the way from SoCal! Family means so much to us both and it is was great to see our families together and what Isaac will one day be a part of. What was a small shower turned into a all day/night party!

Yummy Cake!! From Vienna Bakery

Daddy, Cousin Belley, & Mommy 

The 4th of July has always shared a special place in both our hearts. This year marked the 8 year anniversary of when we met. Of course I am sure that being pregnant my emotions are running more fluidly (aka I get 'choked' up easy) but, I can't help but think back on all that we have been through together in these years and it just makes me get teary to know that we are just at the begging of starting our own little family. Eddie is truly my best friend, and more that I could of ever dreamed for in a husband in many ways. Now that we have an official anniversary (our wedding day) we still acknowledge our special day but we don't exchange gifts or do a fancy dinner we just like to enjoying the day and spending time together.

Last night Isaac and I went out to the fair with my parents, Belle, and AJ. This was another one of those take advantage of Issac being in the oven. I have not been pushing myself to do all these things but I have the energy and I am not on bed rest so I feel that I want to do these things. Making memories with AJ and Belle has been something that has always been really important to me. Seeing how much they have grown over the years just shows me how fast the time does fly with kids. They had a blast, and of course Papa spoiled them the entire night. It was fun to do the kid things at the fair with them, they got to see the show rabbits, model trains,  and cowboy stations. We then enjoyed some Izzy's BBQ and had squeezed lemonade and headed on over to the kids rides. Their little faces just beamed with excitement from the lights and carnival noises.

Riding in the pasture

Belley milking the cow

AJ the farmer

Enjoying the kids rides

 Family is something that is precious and means so much to both Eddie and I. This past week spending so much time with our families has really taught me many things. I thank God that we are blessed to have both our parents in our lives, our bothers and sister to learn from, and our little nieces and nephews that continue to grow and amaze us every time we get together. All I can say is that Isaac is going one lucky kiddo. He had so many people just waiting for his arrival, and can't wait to welcome him into our lives.

Things to look forward to this week: It is going to be Eddie 33rd birthday this Saturday, and we are celebrating 33 week as well...it just seems so fitting. Getting all the baby clothes washed and organized, and a baby shower for our friends the Angulo's.